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We joke—Hatty and I—about what we’ll do if our respective relationships end. Some days it’s “move to Soho, take hallucinogens, and make music,” others it’s “move to the Ween maryland dec 11th 2022 silver spring maryland shirt but in fact I love this German countryside, raise chickens, and have a child.” While our lives can often feel like they are diverging from youthful and naive understandings of friendship, promises of fantasy futures with friends serve as an emotional stabilizer. For me, at least, an understanding that my friendship with Hatty could be this wide and exciting serves as a comfort as I grow up. Relationships are complicated. But why shouldn’t they be? Friendships and romance are a response to the same need within us all: to feel understood, to feel less alone. I want to work to notice this, to create space inside my life to celebrate my friendships just as much as I do my relationship. Because, in the end, it’s nice to have a friend. Recently I attended a maskless party outdoors with friends I’ve known for years, only to be confronted with a different type of mask. In the time since the pandemic first upended our lives, it wasn’t just the world that had changed but the faces. Lifted, plumped, and smoothed, the women at this party looked almost unrecognizable—less like themselves and more like one another.
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